Are You Prepared for a Snow-In?

Licking his lips, Wick drew the back of his hand across his forehead, a loose grin fitting itself across his face. Above him, the sun blazed unrelentingly, not a wisp of cloud in the sky to dare to protect him from its severe heat. Ol' Reliable went from across his shoulders to over his head, the young man beneath desiring any shred of shade that he could find, for his shirt was soaked with sweat and the snowshoes over his boots were clumsy over the sand. He had planned to head towards the snowy city of Dirge on the other side of the mountains, but he had gotten lost along the way, and was low on provisions.

"Hadn't seen nobody forever," he sighed, caught between disappointment and an ever-present amusement. Loosening his tie, red as cranberries, Wick continued to stomp forward, Ol' Reliable flapping loosely behind him with the desert winds. Unfortunately, those desert winds liked to whip sand around, and Wick had gotten more than a face-full on several occasions. At least he had goggles, though he wanted to use them in a blizzard, not a sandy smackdown. Groaning suddenly, Wick halted, brows twisting up as his mouth curled down.

"Lookit that buzzard, flyin' 'round like I won' eat 'im." Pouting at the offending bird overhead, Wick turned his pale eyes back to the horizon, a rosy smile back upon his face. "I won't." he uttered, then chuckled under his breath, adjusting the heavy bag upon his back and blinking the sweat from his eyes. He felt as if he were in the fovea of the universe, and the image of the sky was giving him a slow, sweltering once-over. The thought gave him goosebumps, though Wick soon realized that he was not alone. As if by some heightened sense, he turned around, spotting a female a ways behind him. Immediately, his brows rose in delight, and the red-head beamed as he began flapping Ol' Reliable around.

"Hey! You lost?" He wondered which was bigger, her thighs or her ass. Both seemed to be wonderful pieces of the female body.

Kaya's blond short 20's style finger waved hair bounced as she approached. She was skimming the surface of the sand while riding some sort of scooter.



She was average height and average build on the top, then like a large pear, her thighs and behind seemed very unproportional. She could probably smash a watermelon with them if she had too. She wore an elbow length white cloak over her shoulders and a matching white ankle length dress underneath.

"Are you dying?!" She gasped, hurrying her to park beside him. "Don't worry, god has blessed me with rations. Please, drink this water."

She hurried and pulled out a canteen and handed it over.

"Why are you out here alone in the desert? What have you done to cause god to spite you? If you repent now, I'm sure he wont' mind me giving you a ride into town." She nodded seriously. "Don't make me run you over with my scooter."

She nodded again but this time towards the sky, as if god has agreed to this method.

"Definitely the ass," Wick mumbled to himself, eyes wide at the sheer size of Kaya's approaching caboose. That thing could probably feed a city of starving folks for generations to come! He wished he had a butt that impressive, though the thought of carting around that much junk is his trunk was also very unpleasant. Accepting the offered canteen with a look of confusion, Wick let Ol' Reliable sit over his head as he took a swallow of the water, hearing her words but not comprehending them. After all, he was too busy trying to digest her rump.

"....huh?" Realizing that she was babbling to him with some kind of purpose, Wick clung to the fragmented straws of conversation that he hadn't completely filtered out. All he could come up with was, 'Goddamn, her ass is huge.' He decided to go with the egocentric route of talking about himself, and hoped for the best.

"Name's Wick. I'm lookin' for a rest stop, I s'pose, then headin' to Dirge on over those mountains." Jabbing a finger in the direction of the ominous peaks, he gave her his best grin, holding out her canteen to return it. "We wouldn' be headin' in the same direction, would we? I'd sure love a ride, n' I can trade some goods for the lift." Without meaning to, he found his gaze edging closer to her rear, still astounded by its mass. It made him realize how hungry he was, too, for some reason; probably because it made him think of a good rump roast, or two massive loaves of bread, fresh from the oven, waiting for him to just tear right in...

"Mmmm," Wick groaned, hand coming up to his mouth in a small fit of pleasure. He swallowed the saliva collecting in his mouth before focusing his attention back on her face, and wondered how often she wore stuff like lipstick.

Kaya was too busy praying for his soul to notice him checking out her booty. She didn't open her eyes until he finished talking.

"Oh, as a matter of fact I'm heading there right now to stock up on supplies. It's best if we don't stay in the desert for the night anyways. Satan's children roam about under the moonlight. So, hop on." There wasn't much to hop on though since her behind took up a majority of the seat. Seeing this, Kaya scooted up another inch as best she could with an odd rattling sound in the process. Maybe her butt as fake and she was just using it to smuggle drugs.

One Wick was on the best he could, Kaya took off towards the mountains in the distance.

"I'm Kaya, I'm a nun in training at the convent. Only another year of missions before it's official." She smiled, speeding up more. She was now driving so fast that if they hit anything they would probably die in a wreck.

"Satan's children?" And how was he supposed to fit back there? Wick managed to find a sliver of seat for his own booty before clinging unabashedly to her back, tying Ol' Reliable's sleeves under his chin to keep the trusty coat from flying away. It turned out to be one of his better ideas, since the woman drove as if she was trying to merge with the wind, gritty sand and all. So this woman was a nun? God always got the best pick of meat, and that's why Wick didn't believe in Him. Oh well.

"Thanks, Kaya, you saved me a bundle!" Making a face as sand whipped into his mouth, Wick turned his head, spitting a few times before licking his teeth and calling it good. He would have to invest in a sand-skimming scooter like this, too, if it was effective in other environments. Picturing himself zooming across the world, Wick ducked behind Kaya, legs clamped to her impressive thighs as he grinned to himself. That would be way swanky, a cruiser like this beaut. Wick wanted to kiss it and paint it red and call it his blood-bath baby. A surge of pride fluttered in his chest at the thought, and he resolved to find one.

"Say, where'd this fine filly of a ride come from?" he inquired, tone wistful and wanting.

She had huge goggles on to protect from the sand, obviously she was used to driving like this. The scooter jumped straight off a sand dune and landed roughly enough to almost throw Wick off.

"Oh, the scooter? It belongs to the convent. I think they had it custom built with a few others." Kaya yelled back. "Hold on, I think I'm going to speed a bit to get there faster."

Apparently this was too slow. She revved the engine until it submitted to her commands. They were practically flying across the desert now, leaving dazed and confused lizards and scorpions in their wake.

The mountains drew closer and closer and soon they reached a path at the large one's base. After a nerve wrecking race up winding slippery narrow roads they reached a gate right outside and old village.

*insert mental picture here*

"Nice right? Do you want something to eat?" She led him to an empty dining hall.

(feel free to eat her and steal her scooter.)

Arms jerking around in their sockets as he held on for dear life, Wick frowned at the news. Religious people were never willing to part with religious-exclusive stuff, and he hated that. Plus, a custom build guaranteed that he wouldn't be able to find another quite like it, and dangit, he wanted one! Pouting against her back, Wick wracked his brain for ideas on how to squeeze it out of her, but he was soon distracted by his intensely growling stomach. His jaw had been aching for awhile, too, which it usually did when he was in dire need of food. Wick didn't understand his body, but he appreciated it enough to feed it, and hopefully Kaya would be willing to spare some grub when they stopped. The jostling, harsh-winded ride seemed to only increase his appetite, and by the end of their ride he was bleary-eyed, rubbing his jaw as the pain increased.

"Hu? Food?" The word 'eat' coaxed a vicious gleam into his eyes, despite the confused and hopeful tone he wielded. "Why, I'm positively starved. I know exactly what you can offer me, too, seeing as you're such a selfless, devoted nun." Words twisting and winding until their skin of innocence was shed, Wick smiled, the gesture vacant of any form of kindness as jagged rows of canines gleamed promisingly. "It's been so long since I've tasted a devout, you see..." Slinking towards her predatorily, Wick circled the girl, leaving her little room to react before leaping upon her body, knocking her to the ground and sinking his teeth into her throat for a quick demise. Today was no good for playing with food.

"Good job avoiding Satan's children," he snarled, a wet chunk of her flesh dangling between his clamped teeth. He swallowed it down whole, like an alligator, and returned to rending her flesh, the sound of slick ligaments tearing and bones snapping fulfilling his purpose with each and every bite. Her skin was soft and pliant to his ripping bites, the content of her muscled thighs and fatty rear end giving his palate variety. She truly was a wholesome girl.

Once he was saited, Wick tore away part of her cloak, dabbing at his mouth and double checking his clothes for any sign of mess. Deeming himself appropriate, he dragged Kaya's remnants away, where they would be banished to the cold, compacted earth. Picking his teeth clean of her remnants, the demonic presence scavenged a scrap of paper and a pen, scribbling out a message in thin, spidery writing and leaving it upon Kaya's scooter before returning his host to the area he had started in, gathering food and messing it appropriately so that it had appeared he had eaten. Then, and only then, did he take a seat, dropping his head onto the table and falling into a transitional slumber. The false memories would be easy to transplant, as they always were, so he wasn't worried.

Soon after, Wick stirred, sitting up groggily and rubbing his eyes. Examining the remnants of the presumed meal before him, his eyes widened, a cheerful smile upon his face. He was so full! Kaya was very kind to let him eat so much, but he didn't mean to pass out on the table. Food comas were very common with him, though, and he vaguely remembered Kaya saying she had an important errand to run, some kind of pilgrimage or something. He would thank her if he saw her again.

"So full," he sighed, picking up his bag from where he found it on the floor and exited the dining hall. His eyebrows rose at her abandoned scooter and the scrap of paper left upon it, though there were only two words on it, both of which he recognized.

'Take it.'

Eyes widening, Wick grinned, throwing his hands into the air with a hoot of joy. He'd definitely have to thank her later! Hopping on immediately, Wick decided to give it a go around town, childish excitement seizing his heart as he took off. Reading and writing were alien to him, but driving was a piece of cake, and he was ready to look dashing and amazing on the scooter, just like he had dreamed.

Kaya was nowhere to be found. But, going down the road he was on, a strange looking gypsy cart began to pass him. It's bells and chimes jingling as it totted forward. But, the oddest part was it was hovering a few inches above the ground and there were no horses pulling it.

On top of the wagon sat a tall lanky young man bundled in a coat and layer and layers of embellished scarves with bells and tassels along their edges, obviously a proud Gypsy himself.





When he spotted Wick, he sent him a wink before grinning as the road ahead. His foot tapped to a beat in his head and it seemed like sunshine pumped through his veins by the expression on his face.

"Why hellooo, jingle bell. You don't happen to know the way to the ocean, do you?" He asked in a cooing voice as he gestured to the road with an elegant twist of his hand.

Wick enjoyed the whir of the engine beneath him and the bitter wind whipping his hair, which had begun to gleam a fetching, bloody shade in the snow-reflected light. He was thoroughly enjoying zooming around like a rock star, but the euphoria was neatly halted as something better caught his attention: a gypsy cart. A floating gypsy cart. And there was an attractive gypsy on it. Staring up at the young man, Wick leaned forward on the scooter, an arm hanging limply over its handles as he kept it a steady speed to stay by the cart's side. He was such a colorful person, but what Wick loved the most on a first glance was the cheer he oozed, for in that, he found a kinship. Life was good, and more people needed to celebrate that.

A warm stretch tilted his mouth upwards at the nickname he was given, and Wick decided he very much wanted to know this man. He had very nice cheeks, and the redhead wouldn't mind nibbling on them with affection.

"Ocean? Which one? I've traveled plenty." That was true; if nothing else, Wick was an avid traveler, and had been to several parts of the world in his twenty-two years. His fleeting fancies pushed him to several different settings, and right now he wanted to be where the gypsy was going to end up. He looked darling and loud and unreachable, which made Wick want him more. It could have also been that he wasn't as tall as the brunette that gave an unreachable impression.

"Well my my my, jingle bell is a traveled man." He grinned, jumping up to stand on top of the moving wagon, making him seem even more glorious. "I was hoping to get to one relatively soon. So, perhaps the closest?"

He sat back down, but this time he was floating a few feet above the roof of the carriage.



"What's your name, Jingle?" He smiled, propping his chin in his hand. Then, without notice, he tumbled forward, flopping halfway off the wagon so his legs clamped onto a post, but his torso dangled off the side. His head was tilted backwards to look at Wick who was only a foot away now. "You wouldn't be free to be my guide, would you? I can guarantee food, water, and fun. What do you say?"

He reached back and lightly tugged on Wick's red tie before flipping back up onto the roof of the still moving cart.

"Or at the very least, join me for dinner. It's been a while since I've had such... red... company." He laughed, spinning around in his invisible seat.

Wick certainly thought that the gypsy looked even more glorious from that particular angle. He particularly liked the way the man's curls caught the light, and the way his smile hooked into the corners of his eyes to make them crinkle just a bit, and the way his questions sounded over the snow.

"Then yeah, I know how to get there." His grin became more goofy as he continued to interact with the gypsy, who was so marvelous that he defied gravity like the cart he traveled on. What an exotic, interesting man. "Name's Wick," he answered, déjà vu settling over his shoulders, "but you can call me anythin' you want. What's your name?" Watching the man tumble over the side of the cart in an acrobatic display, Wick flushed with pleasure, reaching out to touch the man's earthy curls and finding their texture charming to the pads of his fingers. This man had his rapt attention, so he didn't miss the request when it was offered.

"I'd leadja to hell n' back if you wanted," he asserted, laughing as the infectious sound seized him. "So yeah, I'll do it." Red company. Was he very red today? Tugging a strand of hair into his line of sight, he cracked a fresh grin, releasing it as it sprang back into place. It seemed he was. "Why the ocean? Have a swim to take?"

"Really?" He smiled even wider, then he snapped. As he did so, the back doors to the wagon flew open. "Feel free to park your vehicle inside. There should be more than enough room. I'll be right down."

The wagon didn't look much bigger than a normal van in the city, but once inside, it was a big as a house. The difference was huge. There was a kitchen and bedroom and loft and bathroom and living room all decorated with plush floor pillows, brightly colored tasseled curtains, silk fabric and ornate rugs.

Like he said, the gypsy came down from a hatch in the room above the loft, and then down the stairs. He twirled a couple times then stopped and bowed, holding out his hand for Wick's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Niku. Welcome to my humble little wagon." He grinned. Once he had Wick's hand, he pulled him into a waltz and began to twirl him around the house, showing him around.

"Over there is the kitchen, eat whatever you like." He spun him again. "And there is the bathroom, there's hot water if you ever want a shower." He spun him one more time. "And that's my room, but there's an extra bed in the loft."

Letting him go slowly, he then tapped Wick's cheek.

"Just tell the wagon where to go, my jingle bell, and they'll follow your lead."

Nodding in confirmation to the gypsy's growing grin, Wick happily pulled into the back of the wagon, startled and awe-struck by the misleading size of the outside that did not betray the grand spaces of within. Wick smoothly cut the scooter's engine before hopping off, head turning every which way to admire the logic-defying caravan. This gypsy, was he human, or some sort of djinn in disguise? Turning around at the sound of the hatch coming open, Wick watched Niku descend, grinning crookedly as his ruddied cheeks warmed with another surge of delight. What luck he had today!

"Pleasure's mine," he pressed, accepting Niku's hand and beginning to laugh with boyish joviality as they twirled around the ornate and colorful room. The tour was almost as thrilling as the man who gave it to him, and Wick found himself giving those hands a firm squeeze before they were released.

"You can count on me, cap'n." Saluting him with a warm wink not unlike the one he himself had been given earlier, Wick fished around in his bag, pulling out an intricate compass-like device with several sorts of complicated dials and gauges. He adjusted two of the side dials before a crooked smile fitted around his teeth, glancing up to Niku, then looking around the wagon.

"We wanna go northeast from here, and I'll letcha know when we need to change directions. Say, Niku, how does your wagon do all this? I've never seen anythin' like it." Crouching down, he undid his snow shoes before stripping them off and attacking them to the back of his bag. Dirge could wait for his side trip to end before finally taking him in. Wick aspired to make an igloo once he had the chance.

Niku flopped back on the couch, gesturing to the plush chair beside it as the wagon moved on it's own will.

"Oh this thing? I honestly have no idea. It was originally a gift from some relatives, but the it started acting funny. I'm fairly certain it's possessed by pioneer spirits because it never stops moving. Or maybe a marching band." Niku twirled his finger in the air and whistled. "Enough about me, what about you? You're very mysterious. I like that."

He flipped over on his side to look at Wick.

"Perhaps this is fate." Niku grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "It's been a while since I've had a travel companion."

Taking the offered seat and decided he would rather drape his legs over the arm rest, Wick fidgeted and stretched until his body bent at uncomfortable angles that were contradicted by his glowing countenance while his fingers flexed towards the floor. Possessed by ghosts? Wick had come across haunted items before, and some of them were pretty interesting, though others were very bland. This wagon, however, definitely fit into the former.

"I'm mysterious, speaks the gypsy. Am I, really?" Scratching his head in genuine surprise, Wick found himself laughing as he pulled Ol' Reliable over his stomach like a blanket. "Fate is right, though; always dabbin' in my life, it is. Even today! I had the desert to myself when this nun on a scooter," he pointed to Kaya's final memento, "comes n' gives me a ride! Now, it was a fine machine, and I thought it would be fun, and she ends up leavin' me it when God calls her of to some silly job! An'ow I find you. But I travel lots, seein' the world with no home to m'name."

Holding his hand out towards Niku, Wick turned his palm up, wiggling his fingers invitingly.

"Met a gypsy once who tried to read my palm, but they wouldn'tell me what any of it meant. Can you?" He really just wanted an excuse to touch the other man, and it showed, but he wasn't really trying to be sneaky. His grin was far too lopsided and playful for such subtlety. "If not, care to say what takes you to the fishies?"